03/03/2006

A Pure heart create for me, O God, put a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51

Medical emergency on the A this morning.
Bounced from the A to the B (or D) at 125th.
Local stops all the way down to 34th street.

I'm trying to at least get through Morning Prayer from the breviary every day. In my seasonal reading I hear over and over again about trying to carve out a "quiet space" where my focus can be on God, His presence in everything that I experience.

Then the doors open at the next stop, and another 60 people push onto the already crowded car. Nobody seems to be getting off. Swell.

No quiet here. No lingering scent of incense (how I miss incense!). No echoing stone walls. No cultural touchpoints to whisper in my ear "This is a sacred space."

But, this IS a sacred space.

It is filled (to the brim) with people who are intensely loved.
An entire train full of them are waiting because ONE of them is in need of assistance.
The cacophany which is a train filled with individual souls is music like no hymn could every aspire to be. It is creation in motion.

That thought sinks in and I let it color my reading of the psalms this morning.

Psalm 51 is an entreaty. With the psalmist I acknowledge that I sin, and ask forgiveness. I cannot and should not hide from God's unobstructed view of who I am. He loves the messy me and constantly encourages me to "clean up" my act. I look around me. How many times have I made rash decisions, judgements about the people I come into contact with? Maybe those strict frames of reference that I carry around in my head could use some review.

And then, the day rushes forward and sweeps away this quiet moment in the midst of a crowd.

But the memory of it is a shiny something that catches my eye on the beach. I stoop, pick it up, and put it in my pocket to take out and remember another day.